asmanjas mein hai pade
kismat layi mode wahi

sach kya hai aur jhoot kya
nahi pata kya hai sahi

jinke liye hai dil dhadakta
unhe humse hai pyaar nahi

jo de rahe humare liye jaan
unka hum par dost se jyada adhikaar nahi

dosti aur mohabbat mein
uljhi aisi humari jindagi

na chahat ka pyaar pa sake
na dost ki wo dosti rahi

duniya aage badh gayi
par hum hain kehete wahi

chahate the hum jinhe
unhe thi humari kadar nahi

aur jinhe humari thi kadar
chah kar bhi hum unhe chah paye nahi.

I have to admit, there is something special about my kaam-waali bai. (For my inter-national readers, Kaamwaali-Bai in India means the MAID, the lady who comes to clean your house and do all the rest of the work which we Indians consider below our dignity to do ourselves)

I think I am in love with her.

Shocked? Even I was, and then I thought a lot, a lot and again … a lot about it but all the signs point in the same direction. Take a look and decide yourself.

1.) I desperately wait for her every week end morning. (Trust me, it has got nothing to do with all the mess in my house, except my room which I keep immaculately clean).

2.) I cancel all my plans just to see her. Even if she gets late, I patiently wait for her.

3.) I feel irritated when she keeps me waiting. I feel so low when she gets late.

4.) All my irritation and anger gets washed away as soon as I hear the door click open and she steps into my house. (Not that I feel relieved that she has finally arrived).

5.) I agree to all her demands.

• The soap if finished. Get me another pack.
• The ‘RIN’ bar is over. Buy me new set.
• The ‘pochaa’ is torn. I’ll need a better one this time.

6.) I don’t have to think twice to talk ‘dirty’ to her.

• Kitchen is very ‘dirty’. Clean it
• Clothes are very ‘dirty’. Wash them.
• That window is very ‘dirty’. Dust it.

7.) I hate it when she cannot come to my place. I beg her not to miss any day.

8.) Last but the most important, I have given her the keys to my apartment. You don’t give your apartment keys to every one, do you?

Yep, for sure, I am in love with her. I don’t see if there is any other explanation. Can you? If yes, then please get to me through the comments section, my cell number or my email-id (both of them can be found in this post).

P.S.: After two long months of pain and torture (physical as well as emotional), I finally got BSNL Broadband installed at my place this weekend and I write this from the balcony of my flat, enjoying the beautiful cool breeze. As Preity Zinta says, “BSNL, Best hai mere liye”

Smile is infectious,

A smile can brighten the darkest day.

I realized the significance of this saying during my recent attempt to experiment things. As many of you know, I walk to my office in morning and I have this uncanny habit to observe discreet things around. An example of such is this post of mine which I wrote on valentines day.

I love listening to music on my Motorola L7 as I walk and it makes me feel good, pep and energetic. For some time, for a change, I stopped carrying my ear-piece in search for some thing new to keep me worked up.

After experimenting it for a week, I have no hesitation in prescribing it to everyone in the world. Ladies and Gentlemen let me present to you, a new form of work-up and stay-happy dose. Please join your hands together for the star – SMILE

Ok, now don’t wonder if I have gone mad as smile is not something new. So why am I introducing it to you guys? Well, I attempt to help you see a new face of SMILE. Try the following for a couple of days and tell me is it works similarly for you as it does for me.

When you walk some distance and are alone, try greeting everyone you cross on your way with a smile. Just a smile and nothing else. No “hi”, “hello”, “Good morning/afternoon/evening” but just a smile. Initially, it may seem odd, but as you continue doing it, it will start working for you operating on Newton’s third law, “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction“. Try it out and see for yourself! You will find that almost every person you smile at will return the gesture. The hardest part is usually being the first person to smile.

It will create happy feelings and charge you up without any extra effort. It will enrich those who receive it without making the donor any poorer. Moreover, the best part is that it is the biggest tool in interacting with complete strangers. The split second you have when you cross someone can best be utilized with a SMILE.

Seeing other people smile induces what is termed as a ‘halo’ effect, helping us to remember other happy events, feel more positive and more motivated. Its is the biggest form on non-verbal communication with many side-effects which are all positive

If you walk to some place, like work, gym, evening walk, etc, regularly and approximately at the same time of the day, chance are great that in some time, you will end up with a new set of friends whom I term as “SMILE” friends. These would be people who you’ll regularly cross and smile to, in effect making them more receptive to you expression. And no one knows, who’s falling in love with you with your smile. For a proof, read my poem based on my true experience

So make it a habit and see how it work wonders for you. Do let me know the results. I will love to hear it from all

it spreads like a flu.

Pass it on to the world

and see them smiling back to you.

The investment will give returns

during times sadness will overpower you

when someone will smile

you’ll start smiling too.

P.S: If you are a young lad like me, please exercise caution when using this on a pretty girl for obvious reasons. In case you are a young gal, please do it more often to everyone. If nothing else, you may make some guy’s day more merrier.

Love comes and goes by
Leaves people mauled with a big SIGH

Those who happyly up-wind
are always hard to find

On the partner people always place the blame
But its their ego which sets the flame

Rarely do people realize
that no relationship exists without a compromise

Ego always play its role
Dragging relationship in the hole

Try eating your ego fast
Before your relation becomes a past

Take this as a serious advice
Don’t be an idiot but wise.

Enjoy the magnificent feeling of being in Love
Experience it when you dream of dove

When your heart beats for someone
And you feel the best in the world’s run

When you feel lonely even in the scariest of mob
Thats the feeling that no one can rob

Feel it …
Feel it …

Feel it at least once in your life
else you’ll have nothing to dream of when you’ll be with your WIFE.

For those who wonder what it is, let me tell you that it’s fucking pain in ass.

Phew, now that I have poured out all my frustration in that statement (yes, I always have a very short duration impulse of anger), let me tell you what exactly it is.

Yellow Fever is a kind of fever prevalent in African countries and any Indian (and mostly all other) citizen visiting African countries have to get themselves vaccinated against it (proper term is “inoculated for Yellow Fever”) failing which, you are quarantined on return to your own motherland (BTW, does any mother abandon her child just because he is ill?).

Ok, don’t start wondering as to why am I telling you all this (as if I care). This is all because of 18 hour ordeal I went through yesterday. Thanks partly to my organization (Cerillion Technologies) and partly to yours truly, it was decided that I might have to travel to Mauritania (for those wondering which village in India is it, it’s an African country. Click HERE for details) for a couple of weeks. No prizes for guessing, as a result I was expected to get “inoculated against Yellow Fever” and the only centre in Maharashtra happens to be in Mumbai.

I was advised to reach the centre early in the morning so that I can put my name in the list which “someone” would have prepared. This would ensure that I would get “inoculated” for sure. Now this is what happened. (We in the following self proclaimed ordeal refers to me and a colleague, Indra, who accompanied me for the same purpose).

!! when people sleep and things go risky,
`she’ wakes up to a bottle of whiskey

when others rest their baggage for a while,
`she’ picks her up wearing artificial smile

scrubs her nail and takes a bath,
`she’ gets ready to walk on tabooed path

ready to lose respect for money,
`she’ calls every dick and harry, “honey”

dresses up to eventually dress down,
`she’ gets pain but not an ounce of frown

when others put their soul in their work,
`she’ kill her’s while serving some jerk

sarcastically remarks that since souls never die,
`she’ repeats the killing while next person gets his share of pie

as I pass through her lane where people hardly care,
`she’ sends me signals through her provoking stare

I felt not horny but helpless and unfair,
`she’ had smell of jasmine mixed with irony in the air !!

Last weekend I met inflation.

Until now, I wondered as to why was there such a hue and cry about it. I could not feel it in any sort. But in last couple of days, I was brought to reality. Following incidents changed my outlook.

The credit to start it all goes to my iron-man (no, not any super hero but the guy who irons my clothes). Till date he used to charge me Rs 2.50 per cloth but suddenly this Saturday morning he firmly declared that I have to shell out Rs 3.50 per cloth. No amount of persuasion was enough to deter him. I even tried the tested formula of saying, “Bhaiya, itne saalon se tumse karwa raha hoon, mujh se kya jyada lete ho” which I learnt from my mother. I have seen her use such lines effectively while shopping. He refused to budge and I was shocked to see that even this greatest trick of all times failed to change his mind. He replied curtly saying, “Bhaiya ji, itne saalon se kahan badhaya hai”. Seems like he was prepared with all sorts of anti-persuasion lines. For a guy like me who hardly wears any cloth without ironing, this was a big dent in my pocket. A rough calculation shows that I will have to spend anywhere between Rs 50 to Rs 80 extra per month on ironing.

The next hint came with the dinner I got on Saturday night (Those who don’t know, I get tiffin every night. Read this post for another incident related to it). I have been observing for a week that the anutyji has been sending only tomato, potato and ghiya ki sabzi for dinner. I just took it for a coincidence but the encounter with iron-man earlier in the day made me realize that this was more than that. Then it occurred to me how the uncle who comes to deliver the dinner asked me to raise the cost by Rs 5 per meal to which I vehemently opposed. Since he could not raise the price, he was adjusting by buying cheapest available sabzis in the market. My suspicion of inflation spreading its wings was slowly gathering momentum.

It has been around 2 years since I landed (literally, that was my first time flying) in Pune. And now, I feel an urgent need to have a broadband connection at my place. Can you guess why? (Hint: I am an IT engineer by profession)

God bless the day i.e. March 26^th, 2008 when I paid my first visit to local BSNL office to apply for a broadband. First shock I was greeted with was that I need to have a land line installed to get the Broad Band service. Ahh, of course, ever tried buying a candy stick at an ice-cream parlor? When the guy there doesn’t give you a candy stick without the ice-cream on top of it, how can the BSNL give you a phone line without an actual telephone connection on it. Stupid me.

Visiting their office again and again for the connection proved not only good for my professional self (remind me to tell you how) but also proved great for the charmer in me for I met this incredibly sexy and gorgeous girl at the BSNL office on my first visit. We didn’t talk but did exchange a few smiles. The next time I was there to check on my application, I met her again. Following is the brief account of how our conversation flowed. What we actually said is in regular font and what I think we meant to say has been (italicized).

Place: Heated and Dirty BSNL office.

Participants: DD – Yours truly, SG – The sexy girl at the BSNL office

SG – So, back again?

DD – Ya, these people don’t seem do things in first go.

(Ya, wanted to see you once again)

SG – Ya, even I am here to just remind them of my connection.

(Me too, Just prayed that I get to see you again)

DD – When did you apply for the connection?

(When do you want me to take you for a movie?)

SG – Same day you came to apply.

(I wanted to go out with you the first day I saw you. You never asked)

I use a sheet of news-paper while I dine so that my table doesn’t get dirty by chance.

Yesterday was no different. I extricated a sheet of newspaper from the pile for my dinner usage and carried it to my room being happy that the sabzi in dinner was one of my favorite.

As I laid the sheet, my eyes got riveted on something colorful.

“Punjabi based family invites alliance for their Very Fair and Handsome Doctor (MD) son working on H1B visa in USA.“

Yes, I had pulled out a matrimonial add-on to the daily.

Curiosity struck me and I kept my dinner aside and glanced through the paper. Another flashy ad said “Wanted extremely beautiful, talented and caring wife for our only very handsome, sophisticated and very high earning boy.“

As I jumped from reading one ad to another, a sense of inferiority complex gripped me.

Seems like I am the only average looking guy left in the world. All others are either very handsome or very smart.

“The day is marked by the commission of hoaxes and other practical jokes of varying sophistication on friends, enemies and neighbors, or sending them on fools’ errands, the aim of which is to embarrass the gullible.” – Wikipedia

After not thinking for years, I finally set myself up for a mission to uncover the actual truth about the April fools Day. After researching (read Googling), and analyzing various document(read Cut-Copy-Paste), I finally discovered that there are various roots to this day.

Ancient Roots
Throughout antiquity numerous festivals included celebrations of foolery and trickery. The Saturnalia, a Roman winter festival observed at the end of December, was the most important of these. It involved dancing, drinking, and general merrymaking. People exchanged gifts, slaves were allowed to pretend that they ruled their masters, and a mock king, the Saturnalicius princeps (or Lord of Misrule), reigned for the day. Thats where “fooling” originated from.

Medieval Roots
During the middle ages, a number of celebrations developed which served as direct predecessors to April Fool’s Day. The most important of these was the Festus Fatuorum (the Feast of Fools) which evolved out of the Saturnalia. On this day (mostly observed in France) celebrants elected a mock pope and parodied church rituals. The church, of course, did its best to discourage this holiday, but it lingered on until the sixteenth century. Following the suppression of the Feast of Fools, merrymakers focused their attention on Mardi Gras and Carnival.

There was also the medieval figure of the Fool, the symbolic patron saint of the day. Fools became prominent in late medieval Europe, practicing their craft in a variety of settings such as town squares and royal courts. Their distinctive dress remains well known today: multicolored robe, horned hat, and sceptre and bauble.

The Calendar-Change Theory
The most widespread theory about the origin of April Fool’s Day involves the Gregorian calendar reform of the late sixteenth century.

The theory goes like this: In 1582 France became the first country to switch from the Julian to the Gregorian calendar established by the Council of Trent (1563). This switch meant, among other things, that the beginning of the year was moved from the end of March to January 1. Those who failed to keep up with the change, who stubbornly clung to the old calendar system and continued to celebrate the New Year during the week that fell between March 25th (known in England as Lady Day) and April 1st, had various jokes played on them. For instance, pranksters would surreptitiously stick paper fish to their backs. The victims of this prank were given the epithet Poisson d’Avril, or April Fish. Thus, April Fool’s Day was born.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-*-*- *

Having said all this, I was wondering how would some one feel if he/she was born on April 1st. A by-default fool, trademarked by THE God himself (ever wondered why god is referred to as HIM and not HER, ya.., guys rock). His birthday is like a certificate which says “Certified Fool” and he carries it with himself. The most irritating part is that he cannot do anything about it.