Posted by: DD | March 17, 2008

My Experience with Death

Last night, I died!!

My happiness, my pains, my worries and all my troubles… were just gone!! I couldn’t feel a thing any more.

I was suspended high in air and could see my body lay motionless on the bed below. My roommate was fast asleep by my side snoring on top of his lungs. I felt horrified. I cried his name aloud but the words did not leave my lips. May be this was not loud enough; after all, he sleeps with all his troubles transferred to me through his snoring. Let me try again, thinking which I cried again, this time the loudest I could. He moved, I felt a god about it but by the time I could even think of what to say to him, he scratched his crotch and slept again.

I cannot die, I thought. It just cannot be. There is still so much that I have to do. I haven’t even finished the Telecom Switch Driver I was writing at work. How can I die before completing that? But then how come can I see myself lying below on the bed? How come my mind is free? How come I can’t feel anything?

Just as I was trying to arrive at a logical conclusion to the array of recent events, I was pulled up by a mysterious force and I found myself gliding through the air. Soon I was leaving the realm of earth to arrive at a strange but highly advanced place.

There was something curious about this new place. It seemed amazingly familiar and awkwardly alien. The infrastructure was magnanimous. Nothing even close to what we find on earth. The main gate in front was of transparent glass, flanked on both sides by golden arms flexing strong muscles. It appeared like a huge man was posing his biceps except that for his body, there was glass.

“Am I standing at the heaven’s door?” I thought.

“Yes and No”, said a voice of a big black over-weight guy who I saw coming out as the door slid open. “Come in dude, we were waiting for you”, he continued. He was dressed up as we see in the period movies. Like a dwaarpal at a king’s court. He had a strange digital clock like thing wrapped around his wrist which he held near to his mouth and spoke, “Dude’s here. Bringing him in. Adios.” He signaled me to follow him.

“Dude? Adios? Did I hear him right? I am in heaven and he’s using such words? Something is definitely wrong”, I thought while I followed him. I was perplexed to see the infrastructure and people inside. I have seen enough movies to recognize what heaven looks like but what happened to the people. Every thing was either Green or Golden in color. As I thought, we halted in an open space, which had 4 people sitting on a pentagonal table, and each angle had an Ox carved out forming its leg. One seat was empty and I was sure, it was for me. The man who escorted me here had vanished.

“Please sit down Mr. Dhakad, while I answer all the questions troubling your mind. You are requested not to speak until I finish.” said the biggest of the men sitting there. “As you have already guessed, I am YamRaj, the Project Manager, Cleaning Division of nature. The Cleaning Division is responsible to clean the earth of those elements that no longer are healthy and useful for the proper running of the system. It helps limiting the number of people on earth to a fair size and also acts as input to the New-Life Division which is responsible for life creation on earth.”

“Project Manager, Cleaning Division, New-Life Division, they all sound like IT terms, but why is YamRaj using them.” I was getting more confused and worried.

“It used to be fairly simple when the number of people on earth was small. My brain was sufficient to store all the data and process the equations with all the variables to filter out those whose time was over on earth and needed to be recycled. But with ever increasing population and number of variables involved in a life of a human being, my mind can no longer serve the purpose. I have been committing serious mistakes in my calculations due to which, on the last count, we have picked 28 humans from earth much before their time was up. I had to send them back and resultantly risked the of exposure of our world to the humans because the people who are sent back remember what ever they saw. Lord Vishnu, the CEO of nature is highly infuriated and my job is at stake.” He continued explaining.

“As a preventive measure, I started this new Division Control Feed Back Loop under which we have installed computers to take care of all the processing. We even got the Oracle database to store all our required data. But we have a small trouble in our design which answers the need of you being here.” said YamRaj.

Me? No ways, I am not that good at my job. He must have made a mistake. I opened my mouth to retort and disagree but before I could say anything, YamRaj thundered, “I asked you to be quiet Mr. Dhakad and NO, I have not made a mistake. You are the most eligible and suitable guy for this work. I’ll take your leave now and my assistants will explain you the problem in detail. Remember, once the countdown begins, you’ll have exactly 30 minutes to solve the problem. In case you succeed, you’ll be free to go and live on earth but only after you have been through the Memory Management Division to get your memory modified so that you can no longer remember all this. We got that division up to cover my high failure rate but alas, its running cost is too high to continue. And in case you fail, well, an intelligent person like you need not be told the consequences of his failure. Good Luck Mr. Dhakad.” saying which he vanished.

His assistants explained me the problem and as the issue unfolded, I was taken aback by its striking resemblance to the problem I was facing with the Driver I am currently designing at work. The asynchronous call, the loop to wait, the return type being unknown, the performance factor and even the impact of delay in processing the information of one human (request) on processing the information of other (other request). It was all the same. It couldn’t have been a coincidence. This problem was exact replica of the one I was facing at work. Shit, I am for sure dead now!!

As I was spinning the web of similarity between the two problems, I head the ‘click’ sound that signaled the timer being set off. The countdown had begun and out of nowhere, a laptop appeared in front of me. I was informed that they have an advanced algorithm, which automatically generates the code for the design thought. So they connected me to their automated coding system through Golden-tooth technology (something similar to our Bluetooth but surely better).

I started thinking hard. My mind was filled with fear, anxiety and computer algorithms. Every emotion was fighting hard for its existence but winning of emotion of Algorithms was critical for my survival. The clock was ticking fast and it struck the passage of 15 minutes when I came up with first design. It was instantly converted to code and was put to test. To my horror, it failed at the first step. My heart sank. I started modifying the design and came up with a better one when the clock showed 20 minutes over. As earlier, instantaneously the new design was put to test and it failed again though at a later stage. I had only 10 more minutes to go and my hands were sweating. I was finding it difficult to type as my fingers slipped on the laptop keypad. Another attempt with new design and it nearly made through all the tests but failed at the last stage. And then it occurred to me, YES, YES, that’s the solution. For sure, it will satisfy all the requirements and will still be fast enough on performance. Finally, I’ll go home. I’ll live for I have the solution.

But wait, I was being dragged by an invisible force. I no longer had the laptop in front of me. I could no longer feel the Golden-tooth connection. Then I realized that the count down was over. I shouted loud that I have the solution but no one seemed to be listening. I pleaded for mercy and tried putting the fact across that I know the correct design and can prove it in just one chance. But all in vain. No body was interested as I was crying hard.

I felt a surge of energy and pulled myself with all my might. A loud sound and streak of pain brought me to my senses. I had hit the chair by my bedside and my hand was red in pain. I sat up rubbing my hand and couldn’t help laughing at myself. It was just a dream and I was completely healthy and alive. But just then it occurred, did I accidentally find the solution to my problem? I immediately took out the notebook to see the feasibility of the solution and much to my amazement, the solution from my dream matched exactly to my Driver problem at work.

It was a strange and equally bizarre dream but hell, who cares. It gave me the solution and a smile to start my day.

!! Who said one should not dream but act. I am acting because I dreamt !!

Advertisements

Responses

  1. Hey dude..
    U’ll really send me to heaven one day.. u can kill ny1 with this one tool of urs
    u r really a reader’s delight. The more m thinking of putting sum praises here, the more i m unable to do it.
    I really think i shud stop visiting ur blog. because it always leaves me speechless n i dnt like such situations where i dnt have nythng to say.
    But the magnetism of ur writing is such that i knw i’ll visit it again.
    N ya i totally agree with Nilesh, I shud start calling u SIR 4rm now on
    i’ll end it lamely saying KEEP IT UP

  2. its intresting to notice how the subconcious mind keeps processing information without us being aware of it. its a classic example how our dreams interpret itself nd posts images to the solution we already know. Its like a automated mechanism… where the subconcious mind reminds u of the reply from within u.. but i was pleasently amused by the metaphorical interpration of ur dream.. “swarg”… dude u really believe ur going there? lolz! kiddin…. nd then the tech savy Yamraj was also n intresting character. Was it a do or die sitation in ur office to…? i cud relate to the metaphorical representation of ur dream…

    all in all its best to get the solutions though the dreams rather not gettin em’ at all…
    gud work!!!

  3. lolz… nice metaphorical representation of Heaven and Hell.
    good read.

  4. That was a hell of a trip to heaven and back…..that line still echoes in my mind…and reminds me of my office lol….”amazingly familiar and awkwardly alien”…………it depicts a contrasting scene with ease……sir…we better change the old adage” history repeats itself”….and rather we shud say…”dakhad sir repeats himself”…….coz u were succesfull to hold my attention straight from the word go,till the end ,yet again…i am sorry sir…may be i am too small a person to comment upon ur works,but thats just my way of thanking god…for making wonderful people like you…WAITING FOR MORE!!!!!!!!!

  5. @Mrunalini
    I don’t think that u should stop visiting my blog. After all, you are my best critic 🙂

    @Pubs!
    ya, sometimes under-rated dreams are better that over-rated reality. Thanks for the comment.

    @Mark
    Thanks

    @Nilesh
    man, that rephrasing of old adage was too much 🙂 (though it feels nice to read such things 😉 )
    Thanks for your appreciation

  6. very very interesting ..
    carried me along wid each and every word..
    gr8 work!

  7. Hi Dhakad ji..
    It was brilliant.. I never knew I had a writer in a colleague.. This inspires me to write my dreams too.. But since I know ppl will abuse me in their comments.. They better be in some books then on a blog 🙂
    Keep it up..

    Ashu..


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: