Posted by: DD | April 6, 2008

Increasing Average Beauty

I use a sheet of news-paper while I dine so that my table doesn’t get dirty by chance.

Yesterday was no different. I extricated a sheet of newspaper from the pile for my dinner usage and carried it to my room being happy that the sabzi in dinner was one of my favorite.

As I laid the sheet, my eyes got riveted on something colorful.

Punjabi based family invites alliance for their Very Fair and Handsome Doctor (MD) son working on H1B visa in USA.

Yes, I had pulled out a matrimonial add-on to the daily.

Curiosity struck me and I kept my dinner aside and glanced through the paper. Another flashy ad said “Wanted extremely beautiful, talented and caring wife for our only very handsome, sophisticated and very high earning boy.

As I jumped from reading one ad to another, a sense of inferiority complex gripped me.

Seems like I am the only average looking guy left in the world. All others are either very handsome or very smart.

Let’s look at the available girls, there must be some average looking girl at least, if not the guys. Thinking this, my eyes raced to the Grooms wanted section. As I skimmed through the ads, my heart missed a beat. For sure, I will never get married. There was not a single average looking female. All were either very or extremely beautiful along with being very caring and highly professional.

There was a peculiar thing I noticed among quite a few Grooms wanted ads. All wanted guys from IIT/IIM/MBA. No one is ready to accept a guy without these degrees. Like only they have brains. Rest all are stupid [1].

After rubbishing these daunting ads, my attention was caught by a strange ad which said “DreamLand: Hi profile decent Male/Females available for your full and every requirement at your place. Call Pinky <mobile number>“.

Did I read it right? I re-read to confirm. Yes, that’s what was written. Decent Males/Female for full requirement at your home. Yeah, even you read decent.

That ad was final blow to the confidence I was left with after the rough times I went through during reading the above mentioned ads. It broke into million pieces and I wondered how I will face my parents again. I have just lost my decency [2].

I wondered, how on earth did this ad made it to the newspaper and that too in the Grooms wanted section?

My brief stint with the paper taught me one good thing. If you want to know the hottest education field/sector, consult the matrimonial section. It’s a real eye opener.

In amazement, horror and much of amusement, I looked at my ceiling and my heart said just one prayer. God, I hope you have made a decent, nice and average looking female for me. !! Amen !!

PS: [1] I did my under-graduation from IIIT.

[2] I am a decent and well behaved guy. Well, almost πŸ˜‰

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Responses

  1. So ALOMST decent well behaved guy, i can vouch 4 that (ie being ALMOST decent n nt completely)
    This 4 sure was a damn gud one, u actually picked up a more hatke topic .
    u knw the best i luv ur blog 4 is that u pick up damn different n interesting topics.
    Ur blog is nt at all flooded with the stereotype serious or indecent humor topics.
    n yeah i wud luv to read ur matrimonial ad too..
    lets c wat u put up ( in case u do).. lemme knw so that i dnt miss it out!!!!

  2. nice take on the matrimonial section sir…
    and sir plzzzzz stop worrying…if guys like u start worrying abt —average—decent—then what do u think shud we aim abt??lifetime bramhacharya??
    apart from the humourous side….it highlights the typical indian psyche….greeencard=happiness….which is a very serious issue…especially in the wake of news pertaining to estrangment of spouses in vilayet…etc etc(etc always helps)

    ps: i am ALMOST decent too people πŸ˜‰

  3. @Mrunalini
    Decent, are you sure ?? hehe …
    yes, thats what I try. every variety, one stop shop.. thoda jyada hogaya … koi nahi ..
    and my matrimonial ad will never come out. I am sure abt that. For reasons, ask me in person πŸ˜›

    @Nilesh
    I agree with you man, the estrangement has been quite high for past few years.
    Hope people realise that money is not every thing (though it is quite a few things πŸ˜› and having said so, i would like to thank you as you gave me another idea to write about. watch out)

  4. LOLZ!!!! its a refreshing read brother…..
    must say that ur really worried about gettin married arn’t you? may be its time for your calling very soon.

    you want me to start hunting gurls for ya? may b v can have an “indian idel” kinda bus and travell to cities shortlisting the “average looking”, “decent” and a “nice” gurl for you. may b we could script down an entire reality show around it! wat say.

    but on a serious note… i love your observation skills… u just grab things outta absolute blues my friend… keep up the awesome work.

  5. lol ! Don’t worry too much ! While you were spending your precious lunch time in reading that matrimonial section your mom must have found 3-4 decent girls for you πŸ™‚

    Aur makes me feel good πŸ™‚ being on the wanted list πŸ˜€ ! Although I guess most of the people sending out those ads do not know what shit they are trying into.

  6. Hmmm… !!

    The comments are as interesting as the article itself. It reminds me of one of my colleague who has been looking for a girl for about 8 months now… yet another of my long distant cousin was looking for a groom once upon a time … I mean it … once upon a time … she’s still where she was … looking.

    Tall, dark, handsome and RICH!! Really… lol πŸ˜€

    To me it seems all the average ppl are engaged or well settled πŸ˜‰

    Don’t worry DD there is someone for you for sure …!!

  7. cool… indeed good ones…i started reading with this avg beauty one … found it impressive nad went on toread most of urwrite ups …

    i must say … u have nice observation skills… the topic touched upon r trivial but the way they r dealt is creative.

    easy lanugaue usage is another thing i like ..no high fi english ..
    keep it up.

  8. @Tosha
    in case she is still looking and ready for compromise, then I am available. Just that I am not tall, not handsome, not even Dark and ya… not rich too … but as I said, she need to compromise !! πŸ˜€

    @Rohit
    Thanks for the appreciation. Hope you’ll visit again

  9. indeed sir!! i will wait n watch!!i wud love to see my ETC stretched to a full fledged blog πŸ™‚

  10. […] with the dinner I got on Saturday night (Those who don’t know, I get tiffin every night. Read this post for another incident related to it). I have been observing for a week that the anutyji has […]

  11. ALOMOAT decent and well behaved guy..
    MR DHAKAD u will surely get a decent, nice and average looking female.. possibly much more πŸ˜›
    if u continue
    to be so simple yet so clear..

    superb peice of writing!!
    very njoyable and catchy!

  12. DD,
    Nice catchy headline “Increasing average beauty” !! I picked this one from all others in the lot.
    If I look at the adjectives in those ads I found most of them don’t have parameter on which those can be measured.
    Something like caring,decency etc. their is no measure for them(not verifiable) .. you can say those are the filler words in the ad block “) and others like “extremly beautiful” is too much comparitive.
    The dot coms (shadi.com,simplymarry.com and its sisters) are aiding bride and grooms(and their families) to market their those skills which otherwise shouldn’t be narrated by themsleves

    for e.g. It would give more pleasure to hear if someone says the Mr. XY is caring,decent and honest rather than Mr XY marketing those qualities by himself

    DD
    don’t worry we are on the same ship(average looks..not so rich ..and I don’t have even IIT tag) So lets be optimistic and realistic.

  13. @Ashita
    I hope you’ll pray for me .. and ya, in case yu can find me one.. i’ll be obliged πŸ™‚ !!

    @Satish
    Very very Nicely written dude …
    i can sense the traits in you … is it because of me … or you always had it πŸ˜€
    Thanks for coming in !!

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