My Tryst with Inflation

Last weekend I met inflation.

Until now, I wondered as to why was there such a hue and cry about it. I could not feel it in any sort. But in last couple of days, I was brought to reality. Following incidents changed my outlook.

The credit to start it all goes to my iron-man (no, not any super hero but the guy who irons my clothes). Till date he used to charge me Rs 2.50 per cloth but suddenly this Saturday morning he firmly declared that I have to shell out Rs 3.50 per cloth. No amount of persuasion was enough to deter him. I even tried the tested formula of saying, “Bhaiya, itne saalon se tumse karwa raha hoon, mujh se kya jyada lete ho” which I learnt from my mother. I have seen her use such lines effectively while shopping. He refused to budge and I was shocked to see that even this greatest trick of all times failed to change his mind. He replied curtly saying, “Bhaiya ji, itne saalon se kahan badhaya hai”. Seems like he was prepared with all sorts of anti-persuasion lines. For a guy like me who hardly wears any cloth without ironing, this was a big dent in my pocket. A rough calculation shows that I will have to spend anywhere between Rs 50 to Rs 80 extra per month on ironing.

The next hint came with the dinner I got on Saturday night (Those who don’t know, I get tiffin every night. Read this post for another incident related to it). I have been observing for a week that the anutyji has been sending only tomato, potato and ghiya ki sabzi for dinner. I just took it for a coincidence but the encounter with iron-man earlier in the day made me realize that this was more than that. Then it occurred to me how the uncle who comes to deliver the dinner asked me to raise the cost by Rs 5 per meal to which I vehemently opposed. Since he could not raise the price, he was adjusting by buying cheapest available sabzis in the market. My suspicion of inflation spreading its wings was slowly gathering momentum.

Later in night, I and my roommate went for a walk and we decided to have gol-gappe (pani-puri). I took a coupon of Rs 12 assuming that we’ll eat 6 each. Just when we both were done eating 3 each, the guy stopped. I asked him the reason to which he said that its over. I was appalled to hear that we were allowed only 6 gol-gappes for Rs 12. Last I remember, I ate 4 gol-gappe for Rs. 1 when I was in class 6. From 25 paise per gol-gappa to Rs 2 per gol-gappa, a heafty rise of 700% in cost for sure was the work of inflation.

I was coming closer to believe that inflation is on rise and in some time my salary would be insufficient for me to buy food. The rough day ended and I slept assuming it as a bad day ignorant from the fact that worse was still to come.

I rose early on Sunday, got ready and went for my favorite breakfast. My dear samosa. I reached the shop and ordered one each for me and my roomie. When we got our order, we were surprised to see that the size and weight of our dear samosa had decreased. We looked at each other for a while and them my roommate said jokingly, “Dhakad ji, lagata hai inflation kuch jyada hi badha gaya hai”. As if it was the last nail in the coffin. Till now, it was just at the back of my mind but now, even my roomie could feel it and feel it enough to say it.

My greatest fear came true. Inflation surely was on rise. I was heart broken and sad. The happiness I got after receiving the salary (increased due to new tax slabs) for the month of April (we get our salaries a bit earlier than very one else) vanished completely.

That was my fastest mood change ever (well, not exactly). I was sad and gloomy and to cheer me up, my friend decided to go for movie TASHAN.

I was sure that the price of ticket would have increased but luckily, it was not the case. Just when I was being happy thinking that at least there is one thing I like which is still out of inflation’s reach that I felt a drop of liquid on my neck. I was sweating in the AC theatre. Initially I thought it was Kareena in bikini (man… shes looking damm hot …) but the drops didn’t seem to stop, even long after the 5 sec bikini scene was over. Then I realized that AC was not working. I could see inflation snatching away last thing I loved a lot. Had it not been Akshay Kumar’s fantastic comic performance in one of the worst Yash Raj films ever, I would have murdered the theatre owner.

Some how, we survived the movie (thanks to Akshay’s great comic lines and Kareena’s plunging neckline and hour glass figure) and wondered, what on earth was the debutant director thinking. His direction was worse than a pig eating shit. (I know its crap comparison but It was to make you realize that the direction was worse than the quality of this comparison). The cinematography was terrible and the locations were designed by amateur use of collage concept. A good observer would easily realize that the water and sedimentary rocks in various songs was digitally crafted and put together (Did you realize how subtly I highlighted my good observation skills).

All this was enough for the poet in me to feel, So i wrote following few lines to express my feelings (btw, isn’t this what poets do? ) :

Inflation dheere dheere

Hai kuch is kadar badh raha

Jaise Chidiya ke ande khane

Saanp pedh par chadh raha

Har insaan is inflation se hai

Apni tareeke se lad raha

Chahe hoon main, jisne ye likha

Chahe ho wo, jo is post ko hai padh raha.

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Now after meeting Mr. Inflation face to face, I need to re-form my spending strategy. I am thinking to hire a consultant to advice me on that front. How do you feel about the idea?

P.S: While walking out of the theatre, I heard someone saying “Kya yaar, Ek call centre waala hoke bhi (Saif’s role in the movie) Saif ko ladki nahi mili. Haad hai.” The other said, “Abe mili na, end mein dekha nahi kitni saari mili.” That made me realize why I don’t get any girls (Ok, I meant the kind I want). I think I need to resign from my Software Designer cum Analyst job and join a call centre.